I never heard anyone playing violin in the background,
Still i am in love..
I never enjoyed winds blowing my hairs off when he is around,
Still i am in love..
I never felt butterflies in my stomach in his presence,
Still i am in love..
I never became an insomniac,
Still i am in love..
I never went out of words while talking to him,
Still i am in love..
I never missed out on my meals,
Still i am in love..
I never understood love,
Still i am in love :)
Friday, April 22, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Am i good enough?
In past few days, i see everyone is appreciating me for something or the other.
I think they are trying to hide my not so good side from me.
I know what all is happening, I know i am such a big culprit, I know i have so many weaknesses, I know i try to run away from lots of responsibilities, I know whats going on here in my mind..
Things for which i am being appreciated are those which i can easily do. The work i am doing is of high value for a lot out there, but what am I gaining from this?
Self satisfaction?
No, because i know it doesn't take much out of me for the kind of work expected from me.
But people think I am good at it. Maybe they are right, still, what am i gaining from this?
Enjoyment for being appreciated?
Not really, because this guilt of knowing my reality wouldn't let me enjoy.
But yes, it does make me feel good sometimes.
Recently i got the best compliment, someone whom i admire is envious of me because he thinks he lacks the kind of talent i have.
But do i really have that talent for which i am being praised?
I have a lot in my mind, unfortunately i have only questions in here, no answers..
I don't even know what i want from my life.
A respectable Job? I already have one,
Decent salary? yes its pretty much decent
A happy family? Obviously i have a lovely family
Then what is it that is bothering me....????
Am I good enough for the good things i get to hear about myself?
I need to hear the truth.. Though i know what the truth is.. but i want someone to tell me...
Neha, you need to change yourself, you need to remove all the dark clots you have in your mind and heart.
Phew!!
Yes now it feels lil good.
I think they are trying to hide my not so good side from me.
I know what all is happening, I know i am such a big culprit, I know i have so many weaknesses, I know i try to run away from lots of responsibilities, I know whats going on here in my mind..
Things for which i am being appreciated are those which i can easily do. The work i am doing is of high value for a lot out there, but what am I gaining from this?
Self satisfaction?
No, because i know it doesn't take much out of me for the kind of work expected from me.
But people think I am good at it. Maybe they are right, still, what am i gaining from this?
Enjoyment for being appreciated?
Not really, because this guilt of knowing my reality wouldn't let me enjoy.
But yes, it does make me feel good sometimes.
Recently i got the best compliment, someone whom i admire is envious of me because he thinks he lacks the kind of talent i have.
But do i really have that talent for which i am being praised?
I have a lot in my mind, unfortunately i have only questions in here, no answers..
I don't even know what i want from my life.
A respectable Job? I already have one,
Decent salary? yes its pretty much decent
A happy family? Obviously i have a lovely family
Then what is it that is bothering me....????
Am I good enough for the good things i get to hear about myself?
I need to hear the truth.. Though i know what the truth is.. but i want someone to tell me...
Neha, you need to change yourself, you need to remove all the dark clots you have in your mind and heart.
Phew!!
Yes now it feels lil good.
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